Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
