WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize