So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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