I cockslap morals
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I am available for nakedness
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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