kristin has been a bad kristin
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
