i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
