once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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