It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
she told me i tasted like america
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
