you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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