So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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