No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
