I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize