On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
