God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
