So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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