i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
