Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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