Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
