Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
