Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
