You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
