Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
