i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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