The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I want to have your abortion
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
