Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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