Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
