I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
