Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
