he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
