So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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