He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
