I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
