moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
