so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
