I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
