I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize