A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
