Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
