if you like me you must not know who I am
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
