I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
