Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
