porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
did you just send me my own nude
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
