wat bout pragnant strippers??
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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