check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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