Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize