And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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