She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
