At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize