yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
