I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize