The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
