Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Randomize
