I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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