Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
