I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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